First, yes, I am currently receiving a pension and I have been receiving it since August 2013 and at the time of my arrest I was receiving 55% of my basic salary. Because of my ignorance of that aspect of the law I believe I lost the right to retire after my arrest. The idea that I lost my retirement was particularly frustrating for me because I was the sole breadwinner of my children. I was not there until an employee of my department who had been nominated to give me my letter of completion in prison told me that I was still entitled to my retirement. A few weeks later the mother of my children (we were never married) came to the jail with the papers for my retirement. I was arrested in June 2017, stopped within about 10 weeks of filling out the retirement papers and received my first payment at the end of August.
I believe I have done wrong to myself so it would not be wrong to snatch my pension, but God knows I am great [sic] That support I still get because I can still provide for my kids. My retirement now goes to my parents who have my children there [sic] The mother is losing custody of the parents. This money helps my parents raise my children without the slightest expense out of my pocket which is a huge blessing for them and me. I also get some of it monthly which my parents keep in my captive account so I can buy things from the canteen that are not provided by the DOC.
I think I and others will say I am a little biased about whether I will get a pension after my arrest. On the one hand a person should probably not retire after arrest, but on the other hand I know how hard it will be if I don’t and how hard it will be for my family if they don’t get that money monthly. It gives me a beautiful mind even though I am in prison I can still pay for my kids and when I finally get out I have an income that helps me start life again. I have seen that many prisoners have no support and do not have to fight in prison for money and then there is a lot of concern knowing that they have nothing to get out of. I’m really great at getting what I have.
All I can say in reference to my firm belief is that it was right. I let my personal life get out of hand because of a bad marriage, job stress, a form of PTSD that is probably the case with many officers who have gone through critical events. None of this justifies what I did, I allowed all these problems even though there was help to help me. I didn’t get help because most former officers would be truthful whether or not they wanted to be vulnerable to their peers. I hope I didn’t get too far with any of this and I answered most of your questions as much as possible.